Brian Clement, Detox, Hippocrates Health Educator, Hippocrates Health Institute, Uncategorized, vegan, Wheatgrass, wheatgrass poem

Ode to Wheatgrass. Otherwise entitled: Wheatgrass I HATE you.

This is the poem wot I wrote for the Health Educators’ Graduation ceremony. I’ve never read one of my own poems in public before, let alone to nigh on 100 people. But it seemed to go down rather well. People were in stitches – including, thankfully, directors Brian and Anna-Maria Clement. I can’t tell you what a euphoric feeling it is when people laugh with you, rather than at you.

And who knows, if you ever visit Hippocrates, you might find a copy of it adorning one of the walls in the Juice Bar…

Anyway, here it is:

 

Ode to Wheatgrass, by George Dryden, Health Educator Program, Spring 2014

You can't beat a bit of home-grown!

You can’t beat a bit of home-grown!

Wheatgrass

You’re a pain in the arse

The thing I most dread

Give me red wine instead!

 

Evil puke green

With a taste that’s so mean

As I tip back that cup

I just wanna throw up

 

I pace up and down

I hold on to my nose

As that stuff trickles down

I clench all my toes

 

Look, I do understand

My body’s demand

To rectify the things I’ve done

The things Brian says were naughty and wrong

 

It’s pay-back time

For my old life of crime

Of Shiraz by the bottle

The occasional waffle

Mushy peas and greasy chips

And Walkers* salt and vinegar crisps.

 

I’m all too aware

That you’re good for my hair

That you freshen my eyes

And melt fat off my thighs

 

You’re better for me than a bottle of wine

When I stick you where the sun don’t shine

But why do you have to taste so vile?

Your acrid pong

Just ain’t my style

 

Your burps have a whiff

That lingers all day

Each time I belch

It’s like Ground Hog Day

 

You’ve stained my best jeans

And turned my tongue green

But at least on the inside

I’m all squeaky clean.

 

So I’ve been a brave girl

And I’m proud I can say

I’m now downing six bloody ounces a day.

 

http://www.georgedryden.com©

http://www.itshouldthappentoavegan.wordpress.com

*Walkers is a British brand name, based in the city where I live, in fact.

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